Friday, January 25, 2013
Hi, my name is Sandy and I am a certified Personal Trainer and Boot Camp Instructor with Texas Fit Chicks.
I was going through photos the other day looking for a specific picture for my daughter and I came across the picture you see below. I starred at that picture for about 10 min with all these thoughts going through my head. I decided that since I ask my chicks to share their story, that I would share mine.
I have always been a fit person. I played soccer all through school and even played after I graduated. I kept up a gym membership and worked out regularly. Even after having twins, my body bounced right back to where it was previously.
It wasn't until we got pregnant with our son and I gained more weight then I did with the twins. I really didn’t care because I was just so happy - a new baby was on the way. At 36 weeks pregnant, the world came crashing down. I delivered a beautiful 6lb, 14oz 21” long baby boy by emergency C-section. He was perfect in every way a baby could be, but because of the circumstances, he had no brain activity and 1 week later we were planning a funeral. We came home from the hospital with all of the wonderful baby gifts that were still in the living room from the shower. I was told that this happens to 1 out of a million women with a previous vertical C-section…..REALLY, I’m the “1”???? The next two years were a blur, living that day over and over. I didn’t want to look at my body because I blamed it for this tragedy. I never could eat when I was stressed, but for some reason this was different. I didn’t care what I ate or how I looked anymore. I lost some of the weight, but not much. I finally got down on my knees and told God I couldn’t bare this pain anymore and for him to take it away….he did, every day got a little more bearable.
Two years later to the date of finding out we were pregnant with our now angel, we were pregnant again - believe me….we were not trying at all. At the exact same time….REALLY???? We saw a high risk specialist and I was under a microscope. I had gained the usual pregnancy weight, but not much more because I was on a very strict diet, but still had the previous weight on me. Thirty (30) wks later, the same thing happened except for this time, I was already in the hospital. We had a beautiful baby girl that was 3lbs 5oz, 12” long and could fit into her Daddy’s hand (that‘s one hand). Let me just say that today, she is a beautiful (inside & out) healthy, wonderful, kind, smart young woman with the biggest heart and I’m proud to be her Mom.
The picture below of me was when she was about 2 years old. Nope, I wasn’t pregnant at the time although it sure looks like it. My body had gone through so much trauma over that past 4+ years of 2 emergency C-sections (almost dying from both), mentally exhausted from pain and worry that I thought this was the new me. So I thought!!!
I got my gusto back when I took a hard look at pictures and didn‘t recognize the person in them. My daughter fought for her life in NICU for 7 weeks and I need to start fighting for mine. I didn’t want her to think this is healthy or to look at previous pictures of me and wonder why I was so overweight now. So I started exercising regularly, pushing the inner athlete like I knew I could (everyone has one) and from that point forward, never looked back. By no means am I saying it was easy, because it wasn’t, but it is possible. You will have to fight for it and you are worth fighting for. I am now a Certified Personal Trainer and absolutely LOVE what I do.
So as your trainer, instructor and friend….when I say “I understand”, it may not be the same situation, but I do know what it’s like to be in an awful place that you think you’ll never get out of. “I do understand” how tough this journey is going to be, but also how wonderful and worthy it will be when you reach your goals. “I do understand” because I’ve been there. When I tell you to “fight for it”, it’s because I know what it’s like to fight. When I tell you “don’t stop”, it’s because you can’t or you might not start again. When I tell you “you need to be here every boot camp”, it has nothing to do with money. When I tell you “don’t listen to that voice that tells you what you can’t do”, it’s because I had that voice in my head. It’s freeing to look in the mirror and not hate what I see anymore. Although there was tragedy, there was also blessings and God has guided me every step of the way and brought me through the tragedy so I can be the best example to my daughter and stand before you and guide you to a new life.
Thank you for taking the time to read “My Story”